Faith-Full Friday, Maggie, Past, peace, shame, worth

Ready-Set-Reset

reset

The Story of The Refiner’s fire

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: ‘He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.’ (Malachi 3:3) She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, ‘How do you know when the silver is fully refined?’ He smiled at her and answered, ‘Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image in it.’  Author unknown

He will refine me from the things that go against His word.

This holy fire purifies me when I am struggling with pride, shame, bitterness, selfishness or just a generally bad attitude.

The dross that is pulled out of me is not needed in order for me to be, it is the debris that keeps me from being more like Him.  The part of me that cannot glorify Him.

I don’t think He removes His presence from us during this process.  ” Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”    His refining process makes me need him even more.  I love that He loves me so much, He will not allow me to remain weighed down by the dross in my life.

I think it’s about less of me(us) and more of Him.

I am coming out of a season where my insecurities had plummeted back in (into my mind set) and had assaulted my thoughts and were stealing my peace.  That was a give away as to where this attack had started.  The Devil steals kills and destroys.

I was privileged to go back to NJ and watch my husband’s son get married last weekend.  I was my husband’s plus 1.  That’s all.  I had to fade into the background as I watched him participate in the ceremony with his son’s mother.  I cannot convey how this was fragmenting me to the core.  You don’t know the history, and maybe it doesn’t even matter. (I won’t bore you with those details.)

So here is the strange part, I was in my head listening to that voice. My struggle was so real as I succumbed to what the enemy had me believing.  But GodHe was right there.

I hated my dress, my body and my posture.  I wasn’t able to get my hair done and so had to do my root touch up and hope for the best.   I felt ugly inside and out. I read Stephanie’s post Friday and cried all through it, identifying as she described her smoking van experience.  For a few minutes, I found myself constructing an altar and was prepared to worship these momentary feelings. Inadvertently my husband commented about my hair.  Here I was again spiraling through a collage of memories. The silence in our rental van grew even thicker and more daunting.   Suddenly, I had a moment of lucidity and God’s love pierced my darkness and pulled me out.  I promise you, as I greatly suspected  that God was allowing this, I also developed an unexplainable sense that He was also, right there in the middle of it.

I put my hand out(meekly) and waited to see if my husband would respond.

Mark decided we should listen to a message and so he put the latest Elevation Church message on.  It was titled Blocked Calls.

There was this part to the message where the speaker shared about this part of his wife.  She seemed to struggle with the voices in her head. He described how they terrorized her and their family. I was quietly crying as I felt the presence of God ushered into our vehicle right then.  I heard the spirit of God consoling me and was awestruck as I was comforted by His grace.

A switch flipped and I suddenly felt so much more equipped as I surrendered to whatever it was that I was going through.

After arriving at the hotel that we were supposed to stay at, Mark decided we should consider staying somewhere else.  He made the phone calls and switched all 3 rooms so that we could travel easier to and from the wedding venue. This was a very good decision.

Our evening was great. We went to dinner and when bedtime came, emotionally exhausted, I crashed.  The next morning, I left our room very early and went on a coffee run. Our “new” hotel had a pool inside and this wonderful atrium area around it.  This was going to be the spot that I would gather all my books and go seek the Lord.  As I settled down into my chair and sipped my coffee I realized I forgot my pen.  I knew with absolute certainty, I was not going back to the room and disturbing my sleeping family.  I decided to journey through the hallways to the front lobby fairly sure that I would find a pen. As I walked through the hallways making my way to the front desk, I heard a lot of clamor in the hall I was walking towards.  It was not even 7 am yet so this was a little surprising to me.  Oh yes, and I was in my pajamas.  

My suspicions were getting the best of me and before I knew it, pen in hand, I was standing in front of the registration table(in my pajamas) for a women’s conference that was taking place in the banquet room of the hotel we were now staying in.  I was once again in awe as I clearly sensed God’s holy hand on this turn of events.  I opened the book that the attendees were going to be using and saw that the first two sessions were on insecurity and unforgiveness.  I stood there, totally questioning whether or not to attend.  A quiet voice nugged me back toward the pool area where I was already commencing to meet with Jesus.

I can not even explain to you how strongly I sensed the presence of God right there for me.

I wan t desperately to tell you every detail of the next few hours, however there just isn’t time enough.  My husband had planned on giving my step son a watch of his, and my step son had no idea about this.  They were able to spend hours together before the wedding ceremony.  Oh and what a ceremony it was.  The Pastor was the bride’s cousin.  He did such a phenomenal job using Jeremiah 29: 11-13 as the theme of the whole service.  When it was over and I was able to share with him what impact his words had on me, he was humble and gracious.

I questioned if he traveled so he could come renew Mark and my vows for our 30th anniversary.  He asked where we lived and we told him near Raleigh North Carolina.  He smiled and explained he lived in Scotland, but he was actually just in Raleigh….” Where was I..Des, Dest, Destiny…

“Destiny Drive I blurted out! ” at Focus Church, which used to be Radiant Church?”

“Yes!” he replied, “You are familiar?”  God was Right THERE!!!

This is the only other church Mark and I had attended in North Carolina, before starting to attend Temple!  Can you Even imagine?  Who else but God could come sweeping in like this and show Himself so grand…So Awesome!!!

As my God showed up, where I was “falling apart”, I recognized I want to do whatever it is that will make me a better version of me.  I don’t want to be plagued by my insecurities. I don’t want to question my worth.  I want to surrender these dark sinister culprits over to this amazing Savior.  He can handle turning them into something that He can use for His Glory.

Can we pray, and reflect on Him who is worthy of all our praise.

Papa, I am so very humbled Lord, as I look into Your Word and read “Blessed are the pure in heart…”  Lord, I know that You can create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. You can hit reset for me and let Your amazing grace and new mercies flood my heart and mind.  I long to please you , live to glorify you. You allow my heart to respond to conviction rather then my flesh to condemnation. Even though I may still come unraveled, I know with absolute certainty, that you are right here in the middle of it all, waiting to put me back together.  I want to be in Awe of You each day as I have the privilege to have Your hands holding onto me, refining me and yes, blessing me. Don’t ever stop, Jesus.  I will call out to You, and praise Your Name forever.

Share His Peace
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